If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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