Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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