so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
