oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
she smelled like a LAN party
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
