And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
