I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
