Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
