actually, I'm a sock model
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
