Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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