i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
