So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think people are normalizing furries
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
