i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
