My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize