i already hear my dad disowning me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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