I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize