My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
