Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who put my cat in the fridge?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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