I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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