You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
