It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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