we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
