giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
