i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dick very happy bro
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
