Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
