so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
3 2 1 whiskey
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
