And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
