Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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