its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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