Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
