Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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