I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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