it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
