I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Small penises have feelings too.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
