I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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