Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I wish life had little blips of pornography
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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