I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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