mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
