hell yes lets make some ravioli
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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