It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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