that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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