So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize