Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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