I look better un-naked...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
