I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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