your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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