i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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