Plan B is the new Plan A
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
