dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize