I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
