I just pynch a tree in the face
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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