he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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