I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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