I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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