Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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