he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
