I think my vagina is haunted
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize