you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
