just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
