If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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