Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
